Breaking the Silence

Why did we meet?

I asked God.... and 'till now, He's been in silence...

You were the black cat in my dream - that was almost a year now. You never hurt me, nor gave me the thrilling emotion. You were just there, staring at me... your eyes strike my deepest. No one spoke, nor moved. We just simply stared at each other.

It was a year then that i better known you; but it was exactly 2 years and 2 months that i have first seen that addictive smile. In that four cornered walls you laughed - tada! like magic, i was captivated. From then, i kept missing your charms.

So when i was shared with that same smile i've been yearning to see again, i grabbed it like a child dying for chocolate, without any second thought, in exchanged for my sweetest smile. I'm too innocent to sense the trap behind those smiles, and the temptation within your eyes. They are the best combination to way through my weakness.

Stupid i was not to listen to the old myths. I enjoyed entertaining the black cat instead of staying away. But no, i hear no regrets from my soul. Being with you is a blessing. Those moments i shared with you, the stares and smiles... the gestures and words... all of it belonged to my happiness.

And like Cinderella, my clock strikes @ 12.

I left you from the dance we sweetly enjoyed... and that's the end... and the start of our battlefield.

Two dry months. No words from you, no smiles, no stares. All were pale, all were dead. Yet my inside is soaked with tears, hoping a new courage will grow. I'm sorry.

I thought, maybe restoring the friendship is not wrong at all.

We started from scratch again, healing each other. The 'getting to know' moves and smiles are back. I'm contented with where we are, not until today, when i realized restoring our friendship had restored as well the unfathomable emotion i discovered before.

I would like to regret my decision of having your smiles back again, but somehow, i don't know how to... 'coz i'm still thankful i'm having it.

I know the truth and i already embraced the thorns - acceptance is not easy at all. Can you blame this little princess still hoping for his prince to take her to his kingdom?

That is far far away... 'coz i know you will never be mine in man's eyes and importantly in God's eyes.

I'm Sorry

I’m sorry I’ve done this to you. I meant to be rude; but I never thought you would hate me this way.
I’m sorry I treated you badly; how I wish you know that this is all just a play. A role I must perform to stop this closeness we have.
I admire you. I wanted your presence. I wanted to be close to you… I always do… and still do.

I’m sorry that I must turn my way opposite to yours. I’m sorry I have to hide my smile when our eyes meet.
These were never what I wanted.
How I wish you know how I love to see you smiling at me, how I wanted to walk with you beside me…

I’m sorry I never given you the friendship worth to be offered. I’m so afraid I will deeply fall to temptation.
I’m sorry I’ve given full malice to your friendly actions; how I wish I didn’t.

Will you still forgive me? Will you accept the pure friendship I’d like to offer?

You are still my Manong and I still love to hear calling you that way.
I’d like to be your little sister. Please give me that second chance.

I’m sorry for everything. I hope I can make this up to you.
How I wish I could run to you and give you that squeezing hug.
I miss you so much; I’m not sure if I’m that important to you, but I hope you still care for me.

I’m really really sorry. I’m praying my sincerity will reach you.


“I don’t understand. Why I’m feeling so bad now when I know it was my idea?”

mon l'etrange // my strange one

No, don't stare - take those eyes away
You might catch my soul and lead astray
Those devil eyes are piercing; burns me alive
Boundaries are ruined by your blazing knives

No, don't smile - hide it from me
I don't want to feel the increasing tempo of this heart
Neither the losing control of the senses i have
nor the melting of the walls that covers this love

No, don't approach - change your direction
Don't walk towards me, i'll be poisoned
Don't be close, i'll be chained to sins and guilt
You'll destroy the tower of strength i built

No, don't talk - seal those words
Listening to Temptation is losing my spirit
Please spare my heart with your bloody sword
Or two hearts will shatter to pieces in the end...

Spotlight

Dressed-up, butterflies in the stomach, heart pounding loudly…

The music started… Here it goes… It’s showtime!

As we made our first step, everything went abnormal. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know my actions. I can’t sense my brain working; as if I’m just a puppet and someone is pulling my strings. I’m not even aware that hundreds of people are watching our show. All I know is I’m happy; alive and proud. I can hear my every muscles shouting to dance. I can feel the energy coming out of my body – as if been stored for hundreds of years…

As we make the moves, I can’t stop myself smiling… parang buang J
I want this! I’m giving my best!
I don’t know who’s in front of me, nor behind me, or who’s at my sides. I’m making moves automatically, as if someone programmed my every action.
I love this! I’m at the peak of my confidence! Don’t care on the surroundings…

Haaaaaaaaaaa!

That’s our last position, our final formation.
My senses begin to work. I can see now the hundreds of people, I can see the judges, I can see our very own Daddy Raul. I can now feel the presence of each and everyone around me.
The show ended. What just happened?

We took our bow. That’s it.

Now I understand, I can’t feel my own senses because at that very moment, our team is one.
…and that made us the CHAMPION!

parallell and intersection

Parallel

I have known a princess (according to her ha...) for over a year. We started as a simple co-death eaters headed by she-who-must-not-be-named. I walked to her and begun, “Di ba ikaw si Febelyn?” …only to find out after a long talk, she is my long lost sister Narcissa.

From then on, we were like parallels, lines on the same plane, on the same angle; and literally speaking, having the same direction and course… just like parallel lines, you can’t call it parallel with the absence of the other line. hmmm… confused? example, direction toward CR, canteen, or sometimes home. :)

Intersection

Time came when our paths must change directions. We are no longer on the same angle, the same direction, same length (if it counts). Many commented that it will be the downfall, the eclipse, the end of our friendship. But no, i called it a detour.

The princess must go on a different direction, this is a must; A sacrifice, a risk. Only one simple explanation i could give, that is:

For so long we've been wandering and wondering why we are on the same plane but never meets, one took a risk. We might be on different angles and directions, this we gave up for us to finally meet half way.

Missing a Person

When can you say you miss a person?

Is it...
When everytime you see his place you would imagine his presence
When you see other’s smile you would remember his
When you hear someone’s voice you wished to hear his too
When you imagine his walk from someone else
When you mistook someone else as him
When you long for those little chit chat with him
When you remember those coffee breaks :)
When you would like to see again those stupid facial expressions
When you remember him even from a little “funchum” thing

...or maybe when you start to realize that your day will never be complete on his absence.

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Standing at the Edge of the Earth

by Blessed Union of Souls

I knew this moment would come in time
That I have to let go and watch you fly
I know you’re coming back so why I’m dying inside
Are you searching for words that you can’t find
Trying to hide your emotions but eyes don’t lie
Guess there’s no easy way to say goodbye

So I’ll be standing at the edge of the earth hoping that someday you’ll come back again
I’ll be standing at the edge of the earth hoping for someday

Don’t misunderstand what I’m trying to say
I don’t want to let you leave this way
I want you to know that I’ll stand by your side
And I know this may be the very last time that we see each other cry

But whatever happens know that I’ll be standing at the edge of the earth
Hoping that one day you’ll come back again
I’ll be standing at the edge of the earth
Hoping that someday you’ll come back to me
I’ll be praying for whatever it’s worth
Believing that one day you’ll come back to me
I’ll be standing at the edge of the earth… hoping for someday…

Waiting for someday, believing in someday
Praying for someday
I’ll be… longing for someday
Clinging to someday, cherishing someday
I’ll be… thinking of someday
Dreaming of someday, wishing for someday
I’ll be… living for someday
Counting on someday, knowing that someday
…I will see you

Two Faced

When you are caught in a scene with two-faced, what shall you do? Call Batman…? maybe, when you are dreaming. But what if you are wide awake; far away from your fantasies?

A dear friend (for sure not a catwoman) was trapped in the poisonous arms of a two-faced. Everyone seems to be confounded by this antagonist; enchanted by the goodness he’d been showing every people that surrounds him. But then, the whole him is hidden beneath the half mask he is wearing.
Every ounce of his blood is stained with evilness; with tentacles as black as of Orsula.

When you are faced with this kind of person, how will you win? How will you fight? When all the people around you were imperious by this little Draco; believed that you are the little Miss Poison Ivy and him as the poor victim?

It is really hard to know the personality of one person. It takes more time and bonding with each other.