Breaking the Silence

Why did we meet?

I asked God.... and 'till now, He's been in silence...

You were the black cat in my dream - that was almost a year now. You never hurt me, nor gave me the thrilling emotion. You were just there, staring at me... your eyes strike my deepest. No one spoke, nor moved. We just simply stared at each other.

It was a year then that i better known you; but it was exactly 2 years and 2 months that i have first seen that addictive smile. In that four cornered walls you laughed - tada! like magic, i was captivated. From then, i kept missing your charms.

So when i was shared with that same smile i've been yearning to see again, i grabbed it like a child dying for chocolate, without any second thought, in exchanged for my sweetest smile. I'm too innocent to sense the trap behind those smiles, and the temptation within your eyes. They are the best combination to way through my weakness.

Stupid i was not to listen to the old myths. I enjoyed entertaining the black cat instead of staying away. But no, i hear no regrets from my soul. Being with you is a blessing. Those moments i shared with you, the stares and smiles... the gestures and words... all of it belonged to my happiness.

And like Cinderella, my clock strikes @ 12.

I left you from the dance we sweetly enjoyed... and that's the end... and the start of our battlefield.

Two dry months. No words from you, no smiles, no stares. All were pale, all were dead. Yet my inside is soaked with tears, hoping a new courage will grow. I'm sorry.

I thought, maybe restoring the friendship is not wrong at all.

We started from scratch again, healing each other. The 'getting to know' moves and smiles are back. I'm contented with where we are, not until today, when i realized restoring our friendship had restored as well the unfathomable emotion i discovered before.

I would like to regret my decision of having your smiles back again, but somehow, i don't know how to... 'coz i'm still thankful i'm having it.

I know the truth and i already embraced the thorns - acceptance is not easy at all. Can you blame this little princess still hoping for his prince to take her to his kingdom?

That is far far away... 'coz i know you will never be mine in man's eyes and importantly in God's eyes.