Research says a feeling called “love” only last for 18 months. Beyond that, it is not a feeling but an effort and decision to continue what you feel.
Fifth year college it was when I knew I am falling for him; yet too strong to deny my feelings; too weak to admit it to myself. That was more than two years ago. I was hoping what I felt for him will disappear someday as I know feelings won’t last that long. 18 months has passed and I tried not to mind him – erased him from my every thought; yet he still lives.
I don’t know what he did to me, but since we parted, I can’t stop thinking about him. Every man that comes I compared to him. He is the reason why I put up myriad excuses in fulfilling my covenant with JC.
I just realized I’m still hoping he’ll come back; but I know he’ll never be. I can’t absorb the reality that I am yearning for nothing.
It’s been so long now, but why is he still on my mind? I sometimes think “love potion”? stupid to say that! A man I took for granted, a man I never thought I would fall for, a man I did cry for.
Insane, I gave him hanky before to test the belief if that would bring tears to the receiver; I proved it wrong. It is I who cried not him.
I missed him. I miss everything about him; his smiles and his actions, the way he cared and the way his eyes speak.
~2.17.2009
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haha.. ka-relate ko ha.. i have this highschool crush nga crush nako until now.. we are both married already.. but i couldn't understand why he still visits me in my dreams even if i don't think about him that often...weird!
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